In 2007, I walked part of the Larapinta trail in Central Australia. At the start, the weather was challenging. It rained for days and many sections of the trail were flooded. We got stuck in a small Aboriginal community, called Hermannsburg, and spent our days camping in the historic buildings that had no doors. Think of damp, cold, windy nights – sleeping on mats, joined by a few local dingoes. Not exactly the family holiday we had envisioned. However, it became a successful learning journey.
We learned some fun things, e.g. that some Indigenous people jokingly measure temperature degrees in “how many dingoes do you want to have sleeping next to you” (they are quite warming as most dogs). We learned how to make fire – from damp wood. We learned how to get along with a very diverse group of about 20 people – in a small space with one(!) bathroom. We learned to listen to the rain and wind… and to each other.
When we eventually started the hike, some people were very eager to get to our next destination – constantly asking our Aboriginal guide: “How much further is it?” His answer: “not long”. Half an hour later, same question and…same answer. After a while everyone succumbed to just being in the moment, enjoying the landscape and each other’s company. We successfully navigated some muddy treks, flooded creeks and gorges, slippery rocks and fallen trees. We were in awe when stopping at some breathtaking vistas and learning about tiny sacred sites and their meaning.
It was a successful trip - despite the rain, the cold and the ongoing discomfort. Every person left Alice Springs (where our trip ended) as a richer person. Richer in new perspectives and insights, richer in life-long memories and deeper relationships. The time spent exposed to wild nature had shown us new dimensions of what it means to be a human being. It taught us patience, acceptance, humility. We learned to listen more deeply and asking less questions.
How is this relevant for you?
1. Process vs. Outcome
Are you only interested in the shortest way to achieve a specific outcome, or do you observe and enjoy all steps that are getting you there? There is nothing wrong with the former and it is not better to do the latter. Still it is worthwhile to be clear on your personal style.
The awareness of what you are focusing on is essential knowledge of how you are creating wellbeing.
2. Expectations vs. Acceptance
The biggest cause for stress personally and in the workplace is the gap between our expectations and reality. When you are totally fixed on a specific expected outcome (which is always in the future), slight deviations (in the present moment) will cause you stress and discomfort. Decide whether it is worth the effort and stress.
The acceptance of current realities often provides new perspectives for solutions as soon as you relax into the challenge.
3. Comparing yourself with others
We constantly look at our lives and results in comparison to others. Which can be very dangerous for our self-worth. As we never know the full story of the other person we might literally compare our chapter 13 with their chapter 31. You should only compare yourself with yourself. Consider how you can use others’ chapter 31 as inspiration to find different ways of doing things on your personal path.
With all the above in mind, my current definition of success is:
Success is a feeling not a destination.
As described in my story from our trip to the red center, the success of our journey was not only to arrive safe and sound in Alice Springs. The real success was the proud feeling of going through adversity and challenges to come out on the other side as a more holistic person.
We are not always fully aware whose success benchmark we are working towards to and WHY it is important. Become clear about where expectations originally came from – did you create them for yourself or did some external source request you to meet these goals?
Thus, it is essential for your and your team’s wellbeing to check in what your measurement of success is. Success needs very subjective, individual measurement – otherwise, it will negatively impact your wellbeing and with that – your performance.
How successful do you feel today?
What is success?